The Holidays and the other random days of the year!

Your grief comes and goes, it hits at weird and inappropriate times too. As I was sitting in class and watching the Family Stone, there's a point in the movie where one by one the children start to realize that their mom is dieing. Usually I am not an emotional person, but it just hit me hard. The movie takes place around Christmas, and watching all the children come home and spending time together, just rubbed me wrong. I began to choke up as I thought how I wouldn't be able to share completely in that joy, that there will always be something missing from my holidays.

It is not the first time that I have been hit by that realization, but something about that moment in the film just really hit home. I sat there trying to choke back that emotions that were starting to rise to the surface. I was em,embarrassed and uncomfortable and thought about leaving class, because I was not sure that I could handle it. I hate that vulnerable feeling that comes out of nowhere it is so awkward, you really just do not know what to do with yourself.

After leaving class I was just in this awful trans like mode, where I assume I will be for a good majority of the rest of the day. Yes, it definitely puts a damper on your plans. Wouldn't it be nice if you could map these freak moments out on a calendar so it wouldn't interrupt your plans? It would work so much better for myself!

Of course to it is that ti me of year, the holiday season brings great joy, but often a sentimental remembrance that makes you edgy and upset on occasion. I can now almost pinpoint the day this period begins and ends. It's funny how over the years that you become so in tune with your emotional state that you can predict feelings sometimes and then years later out of no where this god awful break down comes in. I think it is a matter of accepting that you will have your good and bad days and it is just a matter of learning how to live with them. I wish I had a mapped out calendar of days you should be aware of, but unfortunately life is not that easy!

This will be my last post for my class. But I do plan on checking to see if anyone has showed interest in it afterward, so please if you need to voice the frustrations in your life please do so here. As this is always a shoulder to lean on and someone to vent to.

Thank you,

Chelsey

"How are they?" After they are gone.

Sometimes it is awkward when people you haven't seen in years ask how someone is, this is after they have died and that person has no clue yet. I had a dental assistant start crying over me! How about you? Share your awkward moments, they can end up being funny!

Different forms of Loss

There are many kinds of loss in this world. The loss of a family member or friend to death, the loss of a pet or even a job sometimes. Loss can be in death or in separation from that person or place. Some losses seem worse than others, until it happens to you.

I think one of the hardest losses for me, was when I lost my best friend. She didn't die, but a situation took her from me and we were never able to talk again. The pain of knowing that she was not in my life any longer, but still on this earth made it worse than a loss to death for me. I wanted nothing more than to see her and for everything to be normal again, and knowing that she was going on with her life and I was just stuck grieving from it just killed me.

Loss comes in so many forms that I think you would find it interesting just how many other people are out there grieving over the loss of someone or something and feel just as alone as you do.